11 - Princess Knight and Home Guard
“I don't want to work degozaru”
[TN: Degozaru is the samurai version of desu (です
– is/are). Gozaru is actually an old form of aru, and de aru is a more formal
version of desu that's used today as polite speech. Since there is no
equivalent in English, I’m keeping it as it is.]
Early morning on a city street, in a camper.
In response to Sophia's casual question, Naoto spoke up in
an unusually strong tone.
The way he was sitting on the porch with his arms crossed,
he looked like a stubborn father from the Showa era.
Sophia's eyes rolled up in surprise at his reaction and
words.
“You don’t want to work… degozaru?”
“I never want to work degozaru!”
“Wait, Naoto, people work. When we grow up, we all work for
a living. Naoto is an adult right?”
“You want me to work harder than I already am?”
Naoto stared at the princess knight as if she were an enemy
of his parents.
“I leave the house at six in the morning, get crushed by a
crowded train, arrive at the office at eight, work until five in the evening
with only one rice ball for lunch, then start working overtime and dash for the
last train at almost twelve, come home at two and go to bed, and three hours
later I'm up and ready to go to work again. --I've been living like this for
almost ten years now, and you want me to work any longer?”
Every time he said one thing, Naoto would slam his fist on
the porch and forcefully explain it, as if he were vomiting blood, and
eventually he would burst into tears of blood.
“Well, um...”
“Oni! Demon! You should just let the orcs r*pe you front,
back, and up to your nostrils and say, "Whoa! That's all you have to say!”
“O-Orcs are not your concern right now.”
When the name of her natural enemy was mentioned, Sophia
couldn't help but flinch.
“It's just like that! It's like asking a corporate animal to
work after he finally quit his job! It's like sending a princess knight to an
orc village in bikini armour!”
“B-But it's also true that you have to work to make ends
meet.”
Even though she flinched, Sophia tried to persuade Naoto
with a good argument.
However, a good argument is as meaningless as the Labour
Standards Act to a person who has once stepped into the path of a corporate
animal.
“Anyway, I'm not going to work anymore! I'm not gonna work
even if it kills me.”
“I thought you were a reliable man, but I'm surprised.”
Sophia seemed to be mumbling something beside him, but Naoto
thought he didn't want to hear her words about forcing him to work.
Mimi comes up to Naoto, who is upset like that, with an
adorable face.
“Aren't you going to work, big brother? You'll go hungry if
you don't work.”
"But I won't work. I'd rather be hungry than work.”
“Hmm, okay. Well, okay, I'll do the work.”
“What?”
Beside her, Sophia was surprised.
“I'll do the work and feed you, brother.”
“Really?”
“Yes!”
“You're a good kid, you know that?”
Naoto said and patted Mimi's head.
As he stroked her, she narrowed her eyes and beamed at him.
As he stroked Mimi, he looked at Sophia with a look of
triumph on his face.
"Do you see that, Sophia? People can live without
working.”
"Do you see that, Sophia? People can live without
working.”
“Isn't that... being a sponger?”
“What's wrong with being a sponger?”
Naoto said firmly.
Seeing this, and realizing that it was useless to say
anything to Naoto, Sophia changed her target and asked Mimi.
"Are you sure about this? This is not a good man.”
“Yes!”
Mimi nodded widely and replied with an innocent smile.
“Because when I told him he didn't have to work, he looked
so happy. He looked just like a doggie sleeping in a box of oranges.”
"That's no good..."
Sophia looks to the side and sees Naoto sitting on his knees
looking at the scenery from the porch, he certainly looks happy.
“That's why I'm going to feed him.”
Mimi said with an innocent smile.
Mimi had a bright and dazzling smile, which made Naoto look
even more useless to Sophia.
“Doggie, let's go find some food.”
“Woof!”
Mimi and the puppy ran off together in a flurry as if they
were going somewhere to play.
After seeing one and the other off, Sophia spoke to Naoto
again.
"Naoto, aren't you ashamed of yourself? Aren't you
ashamed to say that to a little child?”
“Embarrassment is not a word in my dictionary.”
“Don't you ever think about how that might affect her?”
“I don't give a shit!”
“Just get a job.”
“No.”
“Work.”
“You want me to work?”
“Yeah, that's what grown men do.”
The two stared at each other, then Naoto's face became
expressionless and he looked into the room.
“I'll work, but I'm getting rid of that kotatsu.”
"What?”
Sophia was surprised.
"W-Why do you need to get rid of this kotatsu?"
“I bought the kotatsu to relax, to quit my job and relax in
my room. The things I need to relax will get in the way when I start working,
so I'm getting rid of them.”
“W-Why don't you just put it away? You don't have to get rid
of anything...”
“Let's get this over with!”
Naoto said strongly.
“It's not uncommon to have to give up something for
something, even you had to give up your own femininity once to become a knight.
Didn't you?”
"Well, that's... that's true.”
Sophia's face became a mess.
“So I have to get rid of the kotatsu. Don't worry, once I
get rid of the kotatsu, I'll be able to work. I'm not a former company employee
for nothing, I'll work as hard as I can.”
Naoto said and walked into the room and stood in front of
the kotatsu.
“Come on, Sophia, give me the flames.”
“Flames?”
“Yes, to dispose of the kotatsu - to reduce it to ashes so
that there will be no aftermath. I need your help, Sophia!”
“With my own hands... the kotatsu?”
Sophia's eyes widened and she was speechless.
"Come on!”
"Ugh—“
Sophia, urged by Naoto, wandered over to the side of the
kotatsu.
She looked down at the kotatsu, her face pale.
Her hands were trembling.
“What's the matter, Sophia, do it.”
“Uh...”
“Do it! Sophia!”
“Uwaaaa!!”
Sophia holds her head, shakes her hair, and screams.
Eventually, she slumped her shoulders, put her hands on the
tatami and slumped down.
"All right, Naoto! You've taken the kotatsu hostage.”
“You just found out.”
“That's not fair!”
“I don't give a shit about cowardice! I don't want to work
anymore!”
“Really... you'll work after you get rid of the kotatsu?”
Sophia moans and asks Naoto to confirm.
“Yeah, I'll work then.”
Sophia's face twisted, and she alternately looked at Naoto
and the kotatsu.
Eventually, she looked bitter, but determined.
"Naoto... at least let me get into the kotatsu one last
time.”
“All right, I'll also go in one last time.”
“Thank you, Naoto.”
Sophia said, and the two of them got into the kotatsu
together.
Naoto put his hands in the kotatsu, and Sophia put her face
on the kotatsu.
Each of them enjoyed the kotatsu in the way they felt most
comfortable.
The shouting was gone, and instead, sadness flowed through
the camper.
"The kotatsu... is truly the best.”
"Of course, it's the greatest work of art my birthplace
has ever produced.”
“Naoto... is there any way you can work without losing the
kotatsu?”
“There's only one profession that can do that.”
"What is that!?"
Sophia was baited.
Naoto answered her with a straight face.
“Home Guard.”
"Home... guard?"
“Yes, a person who literally guards your home. It's a tough
job where you are stationed 24 hours a day, morning and night, sleeping and
waking, sunny days and rainy days, to protect your home from foreign enemies.”
"In the morning... and at night, it's... harsh.”
“Yeah, honestly, it's a longer time commitment than any
other job I've ever had. But you know what I mean. That the surest way to make
sure something is protected is to stick around and never leave.”
"That's... true.”
"If I become the home guard for this camper, the
kotatsu will naturally be under my protection. Then we won't have to destroy
it.”
But it's hard, Naoto said with a sigh.
Sophia asked him to take a look at her.
“Hey, Naoto...”
“What?”
“I was wondering if you'd... like to be a home guard.”
“Didn't you listen to me? It's a hard job.”
“I know, but... no.”
Sophia clasped her hands together and bowed her head to
Naoto.
“Please, you're right.”
“You want me to take on more than just my job?”
“No, I'm not. I'll do whatever I can. That's why.”
“Are you sure you'll do anything?”
“Yeah.”
“...Okay.”
When Naoto said that, Sophia's face lit up with a smile.
“Are you sure? Are you really going to be a home guard?”
“Yeah, a man's got to keep his word.”
“Thank you! Naoto!”
“So now I'm going to start my job, which is to guard this
house. That's right, you keep an eye on me and make sure I don't leave the
house.”
“Okay.”
Sophia nodded and was enthusiastic.
The two of them fall asleep in the kotatsu.
After dark, Sophia wakes up late and realizes that she has
been deceived.
"A house guard is just a recluse! Work properly, Naoto!”
"I definitely don't want to work degozaru!!"
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